What Defines You?

I have always been a thankful person, or just really blessed. Truth be known it is probably a little of both. A big part of what defines me comes from my history and how I came to be. I am the daughter of two widowers who found each other in the cemetery. My parents fell in love and blended a family by adopting each other's kids and adding two more. I am the baby of the family and my parents often taught me that God works in mysterious ways. They would remind me that good can come from bad and if they had not been widowed, I would not exist.

My mother lost her husband when her fourth child was just 8 days old. When my son was 8 days old, I cried off and on all day for the pain my mother must have experienced. I had never appreciated her pain untill I had a baby of my own.

Last year about this time, I received a call that an old friend had passed. She was unexpectedly hit by a car leaving her husband and four children alone in the world. We were childhood and high school friends and I kept up on her life through her extended family. It upset me so much especially for her children. It made me sad for my older siblings who had known this loss, the loss of a parent. This woman was a wonderful mother; strong, friendly and funny. No big hair, big make up, big attitude or pretense in this friend. I was upset that her daughter would loose the influence of such a strong woman.

Fate would have me sitting alone in church the next Sunday, some strange scheduling where my kids and husband had gone to church early. It was a Divine appointment, the sermon was titled, "Dealing with the Tough Stuff." During the service through tears, I finally had some peace about the untimely death of this friend.

This loss will certainly be part of what defines her kids and possibly their children. I suppose it can be used for good and will shape their lives indelibly. The fact that my old friend Brenda is no longer with us has been on my mind so much these days. I pray for her children and I will pray for them today, especially.