My Mother's Purse

Yesterday was a sad day in the journey of taking care of my mother.   I cleaned out some clothes from her closet and found her purse in a drawer.  I asked the beloved care provider at the home about the purse and she confirmed that mom does not use it or look for it any longer.

A little over a year ago, my Dad left this planet and with him, the best medicine my mom ever had for her dementia.  They were a brain trust!  He talked to her and oriented her to the day's events and she fixed him food and cared for him like no other.

My parents were together for 50+ years. They blended two broken families crippled by the loss of a parent,  into one family and raised 10 kids. They worked together selling medical books, a job my mom took over when my dad "retired" stopped officially working. She was 16 years younger than my dad and the love of his life.  She was smart, capable, organized and had a successful professional career as a book salesman and  regional manager, that started when I (her baby) was in high school.

Twenty two years ago when we invited my parents to move out to some land and live next to us, we promised to take care of them as they aged.  I had no idea what we were promising.  My help which started out with taking care of their bills and travel arrangements, grew to running a staff of five and being "on call" at all hours to assist my parents with whatever they needed.

One of my favorite examples of this is the time they called me to tell me the phone wasn't working. I questioned this, as I pointed out we were talking on the phone  at this very moment.  They insisted it was a miracle we were talking and most of the phones in the house were "going down".  I raced home to help rescue the sinking ship of phones.

Once Dad was gone, we moved Mom to a board and care facility with memory assistance. I visited often and took her out on the town for mexican food, church, manicures and hamburgers.  In the home she was always asking and looking for my dad, her purse and me.  A little over a year  has passed and my mom is slipping away without my dad's diligent reminders and frequent nagging.  She is more settled in the home, but she is too weak to take out on outings and no longer is looking for her purse.

It took me aback when I stumbled onto it in her drawer. I am thankful she is more settled at her facility, but sad she is not missing her purse in a strange way. Another piece of my mom slipping away.

I brought the purse home and it sat on my desk for a while. Then I forced myself to go through  it. It doesn't feel right to go through someone's purse before their body has left this planet. It dawned on me, I never pictured doing this unless I had said my goodbyes and attended her funeral. But this is not the case with dementia.  The standard rules do not apply.  I placed her wallet in the financial box I keep my parent's paperwork in, next to my dad's wallet. Again the strange feelings washed over me, for my Dad was physically gone, but my mom is still here.  I had an urge to put her wallet back together and place it in her purse and rush it back to her.  I pushed those urges away as I wiped away a tear.

My mom is leaving this planet slowly, painfully and ever so slightly every day.  Her grey curly hair and blue eyes are still with us, but her grasp on who she was is vanishing.  I am thankful she still recognizes me and can laugh at my silly antics, but the body that I visit holds just a whisper of my mother.

Her purse now sits by my door and I am thinking of taking it to the goodwill or other charity organization where I have deposited far too many of my parent's belongings.  The purse may have to wait and go back in my closet until my mother's body and mind are together once again some day in heaven.  Perhaps, Then and only then will I truly believe she doesn't need it anymore.

Wedding Bells

Last July I traveled to Texas to attend a niece's wedding. This niece was the flower girl in my own ceremony in 1991. I traveled by air with my daughter and parents in tow. Many from my big family made the trip. I have two siblings who live in Texas so we stayed with my sister. My brother, the father of the bride, had his hands full getting ready for the wedding.

We had 16 people staying in a five bedroom house and we used every inch of the floor plan! My daughter and I camped in the front living room with more female kins folk. It was wonderful to be with both of my sisters and all our girls (the sistercousins).

We were having fun shopping, doing nails and generally staying up way to late. We had several fashion shows trying to determine what to wear and what not to wear to the wedding.

The low point = 16 sleep deprived people in one house with a 4 cup coffee pot!

The high point = Watching my 94 year old father dance with my 10 year old daughter, (these two danced the most of any one that night.. the oldest and the youngest.)
Reflecting back on my own wedding 18 years ago. Witnessing my flower girl now a bride, make one of the biggest commitments in life.

My hope for her... that she will enjoy the journey of building a life together with her love as I have with mine.

Love and Faith was his message

A young boy fighting cancer from the age of seven. As a Church we prayed for him and all rejoiced when the cancer went into remission. Many in my church, myself included, struggled over the next 11 years when we heard he was sick again three more times. You finally come to a place where you accept that maybe this was his purpose, a visitor on our earth for a short time to help us all realize what's really important. He liked to say that we are all going to die but he was given the gift of knowing when. A very interesting way to look at it, a person's perspective can have such a profound affect on how they live and die. A very good friend of mine once did a semester long internship with a Hospice agency. I remember her telling me that people die the way they live.

This life challenges me and I am thankful for the reminder and the challenge.

Clayton'sstory.com

Gum Alley

In a neighboring town there is an alley the locals call gum alley.

A little alley tucked away in the downtown. It is called gum alley because since the 1960's people have been putting their chewed gum on the wall. We finally remembered to show our kids the alley last fall.

Most of the gum is just a single chewed piece, but some people get elaborate and write words and draw pictures with the chewed gum.

It is weird, gross and sort of amazing all wrapped into one. My offspring who are germ phobic and love hand sanitzer, voted for mostly gross!

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

Final Curtain

What do you take your 14 year old boy on closing night, while all the girls are getting flowers?

A money bouquet.

He did a great job and we are so proud of him. We are all a little relieved and sad it is over. Yesterday a stranger approached us in the grocery store to say "Hey you were great in that play!"

It was surreal to watch my Artist on stage singing and acting. Five years ago he almost didn't go to the charter art school because he might have to be on stage! The beloved secretary who is known as the queen of the school, assured him he would never be forced to perform on stage. Now in his last year at this school he is front and center and loving it. It is so important to remember children are a work in progress, what they hate one year may be their greatest passion the next. This experience of acting and singing will stay with him, I hope as a reminder that everything and anything is possible.

To make a money bouquet you curl the edges of the bill away from the center then twist the center and place on a wooden stick, use dark twist ties and keep going. we gave him an even dozen!

My Kids Thoughts on my Bloggy Hobby Revealed

On the way to a friend's house...

...an interesting traffic jam presented itself that was making us a little late.
As I tried to take this photo, my children started in...

14 year old Artist, "Why are you taking a photo, Is this for your blog?"

9 year old Bookworm, "Hey she needs to prove why we are late."

Bookworm, "Why don't you like her blog it is just a way for her to remember good things in our life, like the turtle." "Do you remember the turtle?"

Artist, "What turtle?"

Bookworm, "See you don't remember it, but her blog has it all remembered."

Artist, "oh whatever."

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek For more photo story friday posts click here.

Goodbye 2008

The last day of 2008 a friend and her family were visiting.

We headed to the beach to enjoy the beautiful coast of California.

The Sand at this beach looks like tiny polished rocks.She brought her four kids and added them to my two.
That makes six pairs of shoes and twelve socks to keep track of.

The weather was surprisingly warm.

The kids enjoyed running in the water and getting their feet wet.

Maybe more than their feet got wet.

I love the spirit of children, rarely do they do something half hearted. The kids ranged in age from 14 to 2 and there was little difference in their approach to experiencing the water and waves. In the end everyone was very wet and sandy. The men were flustered and the women were laughing. We were not at all surprised, with lots of laundry and rocks in my dryer.

For me, as someone who loves the beach and enjoys the company of children, it was a wonderful way to say goodbye to 2008. My new year's resolution is simple for 2009...

Try to experience the beauty of life more like a child,

without reservation, jumping in with both feet and eyes wide open.

Tuesday Tales - A Beautiful Feast

I am guest posting again at AVT Coach with a Tuesday Tale.
The holiday season is upon us and with many feasts planned I was reminded of this book.

A Beautiful Feast for a Big King Cat is written by John Archambault and Bill Martin JR. The beautiful illustrations are by Bruce Degen.

I love children's literature, and I have many favorites about cats. This is certainly due to the influence of my Bookworm who is a cat lover. She loved cats at a very young age and now her love of cats has grown to include leopards, tigers and lions. She and the Artist are both animal planet junkies.

I found this book many years ago in a scholastic book form and ordered it for my then three year old cat lover. She loved the rhythm of the language and as time went by we could explore the more complex lessons and the moral found in this book.

For the full review hop on over to AVT Coach.

The story involves a litte mouse who teases a cat and learns it is a dangerous game. In the end the mouse gets himself out of trouble by using his imagination.You will miss the magic of this book if you only read it a few times! As the child anticipates the story and memorizes the text they will join in with the rhythmic rhyming verse. We read this story at least 100 times before my daughter could read and then again we enjoyed it as she was learning to read. A true gem.

I will finish this post with a quote from one of the author's Bill Martin Jr. who incidentally didn't read until he was in college and became an expert at hiding his own illiteracy.

"A blessed thing happened to me. I had a teacher who read to me." Bill Martin Jr.

Faces of Freedom

To honor Veterans Day, we visited a local Memorial.

The local news interviewed my bookworm about Veterans Day.

In November 1919, President Wilson proclaimed November 11 as the first commemoration of Armistice Day with the following words: "To us in America, the reflections of Armistice Day will be filled with solemn pride in the heroism of those who died in the country’s service and with gratitude for the victory, both because of the thing from which it has freed us and because of the opportunity it has given America to show her sympathy with peace and justice in the councils of the nations…"

The Power of a Simple Gift

Every November the kids and I fill shoe boxes for children less fortunate than us. My kids include a picture of themselves and a letter to the child.



Two years ago a letter from Sri Lanka arrived for my daughter. It was from the girl that had received her box. The letter was really amazing and it made the whole exercise come to life for both of my children. National Collection Week is November 17-24. It has been a worthwhile activity for my children and is a wonderful way to demonstrate God's love and the power of a simple gift.

A Curious Social Experiment - Trick or Treat Style

On Halloween, we always trick or treat in our little downtown since we live in the country and don't have a neighborhood. We often meet friends or bring some along. Below is a picture of my girl as Cleopatra with two of her friends.

For years my kids have sorted all their candy on the living room floor by type. Then the bartering begins, "Well if you give me two candy corns I will give you a snickers." On and on it goes with both kids negotiating all kinds of trades. It entertains them for a while.

Now for the social experiment. My kids are four and a half years apart, with my son being the oldest. During this candy sort, we have always noticed that my daughter gets more candy. This happens every year. So this year I had them count each pile. My son's candy totaled 129 pieces, with my daughter at 159. A difference of 30 pieces!

I guess people just feel like giving more to the youngest, or the girl, or both? Please comment if you have noticed similar discrepancies among your children. Is it the big age difference or the difference of the sexes? Is it youth or beauty? What do you think?

My One Month Post - I'm where I am supposed to be.

ONE MONTH

Genny over at my cup 2 yours is one of my favorite sites to visit. She is hosting a contest challenging her readers to write a post and share insights into what they would do if they only had one month to live.

To reflect on this question, I must first share that I am a working mommy. I work outside the home while trying to keep my family first. I have struggled with this over the years, but I work in the best possible job doing something I feel I was destined to do. I am a speech pathologist and feel very passionate about my work. I work in the schools so my hours are great for my children.

This being said, I have a problem at the end of every summer. I have a major depression readjustment about the end of summer and the return to work and school. It's not just for me, I hate sending my kids back to school and genuinely love having them around. I hate the homework, the schedule, the pressure, the conflicts and the stress. My kids do pretty well in school and I still dread the end of summer!

Each year my end of summer blues were getting worse until...two years ago. I had an epiphany in church, something to the effect of "life is not an Elle party".

Yes folks, that became my mantra. "Life is not a party for me." God never intended life to be easy or a personal party, there are no endless summers and no free lunches. I consider myself very blessed to have the glorious summer and the wonderful unscheduled time with my kids. I am certain that I am right where I should be during the school year. I work to help young children and their families. God has been so gracious to give me wonderful summers off to enjoy my kids and recharge my batteries.

Of course, it would be nice if my last month was in the summer. If not, I believe I am right where I am supposed to be.

I would make some little tweaks... make less lists, try to be present more, seize more moments, and try to make each moment count.

I would write in and read my own blog more! My favorite blog of all time is my own, not because it can hold a candle to some of my favorites.

Fingerprints is my favorite because I write first and foremost for me. My blog is about; my kids, my love, my thoughts and my life. I am thankful for the gift of my life. keeping a journal online or otherwise helps me reflect, focus and embrace this gift God has given me.
One key goal I am always striving for is to live my life to an audience of one... God.

So Carpe Diem - seize the day or the moment and start living your life with no regrets, I hope you feel you are right where you are supposed to be today.

Too Many Pumpkins

Tuesday Tale – Too Many Pumpkins

I have had the nice surprise of meeting a fellow blogger who is also a Speech Pathologist!

She is starting a new series on Tuesdays called Tuesday Tales. She will review a children’s book and give insight and ideas on how to expand children’s language skills through books. As a huge fan of children’s literature and a big believer in the power of books, I am honored to guest post on this new venture from time to time. Her website is AVT coach.

The book I have chosen is Too Many Pumpkins, by Linda White and Illustrated by Megan Lloyd. A great read for October.

The simple story introduces us to its main character a senior woman by the name of Rebecca Estelle. Rebecca an avid gardener, enjoyed growing everything except Pumpkins. She hated pumpkins. Rebecca had vowed never to even look at a pumpkin again and she didn’t until...
..one Autumn day several pumpkins fell off a passing truck in her front yard. We spend much of the next few pages watching Rebecca try to rid herself of the pumpkins. In the end the reader is pleasantly surprised to see the change in this character’s attitude about something she hated for a long time.


For the complete review head over to AVT coach's website.



My favorite thing about this story is we get to witness a character who ends up changing her mind. Learning that there is always a chance we could change our minds is a great life lesson for old and young alike.

I hope you all find a great read this October and enjoy the magic of a book shared with a child.

Golden Nuggets, Caution Slips and The Free Market Economy of the Fourth Grade

Last night at dinner, my bookworm made a surprising announcement.

"I am buying a blank caution slip from my friend for four golden nuggets."


(Caution slips are given to children when they are in big trouble and usually involves a trip to the principal's office)

She proceeded to explain how a friend of hers was given a blank caution slip and now apparently the fourth graders in room 12 decided it was a very valuable commodity. The bidding began, with one student offering to loan the child a favorite pen while others offered favors. With many children attempting to gain possession of the slip, the bidding switched to a more specific currency, golden nuggets. Golden nuggets are a paper ticket given out for good behavior to be used at the class store for prizes. My daughter informed me that she had won the auction and she and her friend shook on it.

I was still shocked and feeling like I should reprimand my child. I was thinking of warning her that she could get in big trouble, but her uncle and father beat me to the punch. They proceeded to shower her with praise and encouragement for this recent endeavor.

Before giving my lecture, I decided to dig deeper and ask her why she wanted the caution slip. Her eyes lit up as she explained how she wanted to have it so she could give it out to some ill behaved student if needed. The glint in her eye revealed how she relished the power she would wield as the possessor of the blank caution slip. I could barely keep a straight face as the look in her eye reminded me of the power the ring had over Frodo in Tolkien's recent cinematic tale.

Ah the desire for power, so intoxicating and undeniably strong, perhaps this is what happened on Wall Street. One too many souls getting that glazed over look and letting power and greed take the wheel. Quick grab a blank caution slip.

"Great- Now We Have To Do It Again" - Bottleshock

A few nights ago I ventured out to town to see Bottleshock the movie. It is based on the true and historic story of when, in 1976, California wines were submitted in a blind tasting against noted French wines … and won!

I enjoyed watching the story unfold about the various struggles between a father and son, the pursuit of a dream, and the hard work that goes into farming. This story really demonstrates the growing pains of a young wine business.

There were more than a few great lines. Several of them reminded me of why I love this life we’ve chosen, and why I embrace the struggle of farming a vineyard. Farming is a great analogy for life. My experience of “Living on Some Land” has given me a great appreciation for this fact. Farming is a daily reminder that many things in life are out of our control. First-hand experience has increased my understanding of why Jesus often used a vineyard as a parable in his teachings. I try to remind my children that they have more control over their reaction to life's events than the events themselves.

My favorite line from the movie is the title of this post. In farming, you work all year for the harvest and when it’s done, you start all over again. Sending my kids to school feels much the same; with a new year comes new expectations, new teachers and new schedules. Life often comes at us in cycles. Like housework, homework and cooking, there is always a do-it-again around every corner.

So, I give this film a tip of the wine glass and a recommendation to see it if you have the chance. I think many will enjoy this slice-of-life story that gives a nod to the American dream and American spirit of hard work.



Disclaimer: As a California vineyard owner I am definitely a biased reviewer!

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9 NIV

Sister Cousins

I consider myself very blessed to have two wonderful sisters. We have so much fun together. We love shopping, staying up late, doing creative projects and just being together.

Recently my sisters came to town, both living far away and they arrived with their daughters in tow. We were all blessed to have a daughter, however none of our daughters have a sister.

As I prepared for my sisters arrival a pang of sadness washed over me for my girl. She will not have this experience (sisters coming to town) as she only has her one brother.

My sisters were on the same wavelength when they arrived they announced - "we have decided that the girls need to be sister cousins instead of just cousins." My funny sisters would say to one of the girls "go ask your sister" every chance they got. The girls were such good sports, they tolerated us with very few eye rolls. They genuinely love being together.

My sisters are a bit older. As I watched my nieces playing with their much younger cousin it was like looking back through a window in time. The age difference between myself and my sisters is so similar to our girls.

My Love's ideal family would be two girls and two boys - so each child would have a sister and a brother. Being a working mom I just couldn't rally for any more after two. So thank goodness my daughter has sister cousins.

Sisters - two in college and one in grade school many years ago.


Cousins Sister Cousins- two in college and one in grade school current day.

My Kitchen and the Soup Nazi

I am addicted to the food network and I have a son who loves to cook, however I still consider myself a novice in the kitchen.

One type of food that I really enjoy cooking is soup. I have a talent for soup. Maybe it is due to my goal and deep desire to only have one pot to clean. Whatever the reason, my soups are usually the best thing on the menu. Some of my specialties are: zucchini soup, blended vegetable soup, corn chowder, chicken tortilla soup and butternut squash soup. Thankfully my family all love soup.




Fortunately for my family, I am not nearly as temperamental as the Soup Nazi, but I do like saying "No soup for you."

What did you learn on the first day of school?

Interview in hand
Questions put upon the page
Answers from the heart .

Famous for one day?
Teen stars dressed beyond their years
Happy to be me

It is Haiku Friday at A Mommy Story


Wednesday was the first day of school for my kids. My bookworm who is always ready to roll wasted no time getting started on her homework in the car.

She was asked to fill out an interview, so the teacher could get to know her better. She read the interview questions out loud and would announce her answers as she wrote them down on her paper. The questions consisted of the usual; favorite color, favorite past times, and favorite foods. No surprises there, until she reached question number eight.

Question #8 - "If you could be a famous person who would you like to be?"

Her initial answer - "I just want to be myself."

I almost swerved off the road, could it be that my daughter is that content with herself?

I blurted out, "Write that down."

My daughter protested, "No Mom that is not answering the question."

I pleaded, "Please write that down, it is the best answer in the world."

"No I can't, it doesn't answer the question. How about if I write..

Shawn Johnson, but I really just want to be myself."

I replied, "Great, that is the perfect answer. Write that down."

I just loved it. I couldn't wipe the smile of my face. In the time of Botox, dolled up teen stars and the media it's an uphill battle for girls to feel good about themselves. I am so thankful that my daughter is content to be herself. A great discovery for me on the first day of school.

Bottling Day

We arrived at the winery in Northern California last Saturday and could feel the excitement that had been building up during the drive. The air was thick with the now familiar smells of oak and wine and we were quickly greeted by the very friendly staff. Only a few weeks ago our winemaker had let us know the wine was finally ready for the last leg of its journey from barrel to bottles!

We poured a barrel sample and enjoyed the first delectable taste of our finished wine. The deep garnet-hued liquid quickly made its way from the stainless tank to the bottling machine, filling up bottle after bottle as they wound their way through the equipment. Somehow, it never got old watching the bottles get filled, corked, capped, labeled, and finally cased. Another step on our journey, and a great day for our vineyard and our family - one for the books!

The Unexpected

Weekend highlights and surprises...

* Helping hands when we needed a seat.

We realized we have been friends for 27 years!

Beautiful Desert Blooms.

Six pillows on each bed!

Realistic swimsuit models ... no Sports Illustrated.
(This photo was hanging in our room.)




A double desk, plenty of room for us and our two laptops.

Happening live music at the lounge and pool and maybe the most surprising of all was....


The tattoo convention at our hotel during our weekend.

So here we are two fortysomething moms on a weekend getaway trying to blend in with the hundreds of attendees for this convention. I love the unexpected it often provides the spice in life, that little something that makes the experience so memorable.

"Nearly all the best things that came to me in life have been unexpected, unplanned by me."

Carl Sandburg (American Historian, Poet and Novelist.)